Friday, July 29, 2005

... caught some really big fish

Man, that was a weekend. Some time last summer (or was is the year before?) Harry, Mark, and John went fishing. Some friend of Harry got a boat... in a small town near -----------. The left on Friday and were back on late Sunday night. Whatshisname said he met them the night after. John brought this photo (see left): it's Mark and John with some really big fish, Harry's not in it since somebody had to take the picture, you know? Anyhow, he didn't catch anything to bragg about (...please let's not say "anything but a cold" -- that'd be too poor a joke).

Speaking of poor jokes: Gotcha! Did you actually believe that Harry, Mark, and John went fishing? ...Dude, look at the photo! Those guys hardly look anything like Mark and John.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

down in the park

Harry, Mark, John and some of their "friends" are sitting down in the park. You know the place, those trees, near some pond or something. Somebody brought a guitar. Must have been Mark, since he's playing now. Lousily. Two or three chords. Over and over again. He just varies the picking, does some bending now and then. Stuff you would do if you wanted to impress someone who doesn't know much bout playing guitars -- or music in general, for that matter. While Mark is strumming, picking, bending and sliding on or along the strings and Harry leafing through some book somebody took along, John starts talking. He breaks the silence that has filled the stale summer air between them.
"Ever considered starting a band?"
Mark replies: "Dude, forgot how we met?" -- and adds (after a pause, short enough not to be recognized): "I'm definitely over that band stuff."
Harry puts down the book, looking annoyed, as if he was disturbed while doing something of vital importance. Before he opens his mouth to complain in a manner completely inappropriate in the situation, he takes a look around --and changes his mind about what to say. "Guys, have you notice that we're alone?"
Mark and John turn their heads... He's right. Where have they gone? When did they leave? Why didn't they... Questions like those cross their minds.
Mark manages to say: "When did... uh... Sally, whatshername, and that other guy leave?"
Harry: "... I don't know... -- by the way: who was he? Seemed kinda weird to me."
Mark: "You're right-- he was so... oblivious. I can't stand that."
John: "Guys... what about the band?"

Thursday, July 21, 2005

picture perfect

The picture above shows "our heroes" -- dressed up for some occasion. Nobody remembers what that was. Maybe Sally got married. Or Jane.
...or did Sally marry Jane? (John would say: "Heehee... of course did Sally maryjane, I brought her some from..." "Yeah, John, alright.")
From left to right: Harry, Mark, John.
You might not guess from this picture, but they weren't that drunk. Somebody said that Mark was "designated driver" that night. How ridiculous.

One dark autumn night in 19--

(How Harry met Mark met John)

Shortly after Harry dumbed that Sally-chick-- okay just kidding: it was one of those nights in the last century that you hardly remember these days. Maybe because those days, back in the 1900s seem so undistinguishable now.
The weather was awful. Raining, pouring down. Cats and dogs. Whatever metaphor you like to describe fucking rain.
The band ------ was to play at ----- club. Actually Mark used to play the guitar for them. That was before they got into major record deals, big money and stuff. The ----- club was one of those venues were either shitty bands from around the corner would play concerts or shitty band from overseas you never heard about before. However, usually they were three-piece groups who liked to describe their style by using at least two genres which didn't seem go along at all. Like hiphop-polka, goa punk-rock or avantgard electro-folk.
Back then ------ actually labelled their style as "avantgard electro-folk". You might imagine what it sounded like, at least if you know their b-side compilation "----- and the ------ on -----" or the live bootleg recorded last year in Amsterdam. (Dude, those guys were stoned that night, you wouldn't imagine. Harry was there. But that's a completely different story.)

Back to our little story: Harry worked at the ----- club, as a bartender. But he never was one of the really cool ones. You knows, those who do tricks with bottles. Like juggling and whatever. He couldn't even mix a real drink. But if you remember the ----- club back in the 1900s you know that wasn't necessary. People usually drank Dutch beer from small green bottles.
John and Harry had already met before. They knew each other quite some time now (Maybe they're brothers. You never know. The don't talk about back then. God knows why.), but hadn't met for years or so. If you ever asked them you will have noticed that their memories of the 19-- are rather blurry. But whose are not?
Didn't somebody once say: "If you remember the 1900, you weren't really there"?
Why don't we stick to the story, for whoeveryoulike's sake!
John had been on a trip to... let's just say: "a foreign country". Some folks say he got his drug habit there. Those who say he has something like that. Well, he just got back to town and thought: "It's been some time since I last started a fight at the ----- club."
Back then, he really was like that. Liked to pick fights. Always wanted "to beat f*cking hell outa somebody" (as he said, incl. the asterisk!) and usually he ended up beaten, black and blue, butt-kicked.
Well, to shorten a story that grew too long already: John picked a fight that night, he tried to beat up the drummer -- during the show. All hell broke loose. It is said that after the fight was over, Harry, Mark, and John were the only who were left conscious. They were taken in by the police and spent the rest of the night together. In some cell.
Well this is how the story goes. It's what people tell. Nobody knows whether this really is how Harry met Mark met John. Maybe it's true. But most likely... it's not.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The other night

...Harry, Mark, and John are having a drink in some shady bar. One of those you usually pass without daring to ever step inside.
John: "Guys, I think things have to become even worse- before they get any better."
No response.
"I mean: as soon as the working masses have become miserable enough, there'll be a revolution. That's why I think we should stick to Capitalism, to exploitation and stuff. It's the only way to ever overcome."
"I wonder if you ever listen to what you're saying," Mark says. "I never heard such crap."
Meanwhile John empties his glass, takes a look around. "Do you guys know where the men's room is?" he asks.
Another minute just passed.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

...are sitting on the kitchen floor...

...in that girl's apartment. You know who. Harry's smoking a cigarette, Mark is talking (more or less to himself) and John just returned from the bathroom where did a line of coke. Maybe. Nobody can tell - he always acts like he just returned from the bathroom where he went only to do cocaine.
Mark says, "You know, there's hardly a thing I hate, but if there is anything I hate more than faggots, it's homophobics" - Harry exhales looking at Mark. He's puzzeld. "Huh?" -- John asks: "Are you actually listening to what you're saying?" A question which - now that it was asked - seems to prove the coke theory wrong, since he seems to listen. Harry says, "Well, if I was gay, would you hate yourself more than me?" -- Mark: "You're gay? Dude, I didn't know." -- John: "Never ever heard of the concept of hypothesis?" -- "Man, that sounds horrible. Hope it's not infectious."